Previously: Mandy got married to Barry and moved out. Scarlet continued to attempt to flirt with Melvin, and Melvin and Mary Kay's marriage exploded because of it. Alejandro caught fire, married Corrine, and they had a baby named Rainbow.
We begin where we left off last time, with Corrine welcoming Rainbow into the world.
Melvin: Hey, so, apparently I'm not supposed to be in the same room as Scarlet anymore, so what do you say you and I get together?
Corrine: I can't even begin to tell you all the ways this disgusts me. First, I am holding my newborn child. Second, I am married to your grandson. Third, ew. Just, ew.
Melvin: Well you didn't have to be such a bitch about it.
What has Jack so excited you might ask?
He and Jessie invited over their lady friends for some sweet lovins.
Jessie: Rosanna! Baby! It is so good to see you! Come here and give me a hug. See, Jacko, this is how you win the heart of a lady.
Jack: Ok, let me try.
Jack: So, hugging, right? I like hugging. Would you like a free hug from me to you?
Opal: I think I will pass, thanks.
Melvin tried to hit on Corrine again which caused her to flip her lid.
Corrine: Oh my God, old man! What the hell is wrong with you? Get this through your head. I'M A MARRIED WOMAN. I can't even be with the same room with you right now, you creeper.
Melvin: Well, what do you know? My plan to get to hold the baby actually worked!
Meanwhile, Jack and Rosanna are now dating and attached at the lips.
Opal: How can they act so normal with your sister in law screaming and running around the house and with your grandfather acting like such a pervert?
Jack: Oh, you get used to it after a while.
Opal: I see.
Soon, it was time for Rainbow's birthday.
Corrine: Baby, I don't think I want to become the new Scarlet of this house.
Corrine: And while I like living in this house and not having to pay bills, I can only think of one solution. I need time to consider this.
Rainbow: Herp derp.
Alejandro: Oh, my baby boy is all grown up. I am so proud!
Corinne: Ok, that was enough time to decide. Grab the kid and pack your things. We're leaving.
Scarlet was not there for her grandson's birthday because she had been invited to Sxxy's very sxxy party.
Sxxy: So, you and Dani are the first guests to arrive. Make yourselves at home. A lot of people RSVP'd, so it's sure be a good showing today.
Dani: Somehow I doubt this.
This picture really has no point other than that I heard cackling in the back room so I went to investigate and found Henry Deens. LOL WHAT XDDDDD
Sxxy: Yeah, this is a good showing.
Dani: Where are all the ladies?
Scarlet: I feel so out of place.
Dani: I mean, I could be at home with Menaja right now. I was promised a sexy party. This is distinctly unsexy.
Sxxy: I believe you misunderstood. Not a sexy part. A sxxy party.
Henry: Boo! This blows. You losers enjoy standing around in poor lighting and filth talking to a freak with a NASCAR mullet. I have better things to do with my time like kick puppies and bask in the desperation of the poor.
Scarlet corned Neva, her old friend, to ask him why Sxxy's party was so lame.
Scarlet: Maybe you can explain this to me. Why are there so many guys here? I mean, not that I"m complaining, but I feel really out of place.
Neva: Oh, you've never been to one of Sxxy's parties before?
Neva: Uhh, how do I say this. This is kind of awkward.
Neva: People with your... assets... don't normally attend Sxxy's parties. It's usually guy exclusive.
Scarlet: Oh, I get it. It's really Sxxy's Sexist Party?
Neva: Er, not exactly. Maybe I should uh, kind of show you.
Neva: Hey, Dani. How you doin?
Dani: Oh, fine, Nev. You?
Neva: Great. Say, that's a nice shirt you're wearing. It would be a shame for it to get stained, if you catch my drift.
Dani: Uh, yeah. I guess it would.
Scarlet: Oh. That kind of party.
Neva: I'm getting tired. I might head to bed soon.
Dani: Yeah, that would be a good idea if you're tired.
Neva: ... You've never been to one of Sxxy's parties either, have you, Dani?
Dani: No. Could you explain to me why Scarlet is the only lady here?
Neva: ... I'm leaving.
The next item on the list was to watch soap operas.
Scarlet: Sxxy, I have to say, I played the scene for quite a while. I know a lot about love, and I have never seen anyone act like the people on these shows.
Sxxy: What the hell? Real life is totally like this. You just don't get it.
Puffy: It's so romantic~
Dr. Mustard: I did not just hear you insult my shows.
Scarlet: Screw this. I'm going home.
Back at home...
Jessie: Ugh, you and your stupid blue shell! I hate playing Mario Kart with you. You always do this to me!
Jack: Suck it up. And anyway, I blew myself up that time, too, so I don't know what you're complaining about.
Tripp: Come from behind victory!
Jessie: Now you've let dad win. What the hell? Dad never wins!
None too soon, it was birthday time for the boys.
Jessie: I wish to be suave enough to bag all the ladies but especially Rosanna.
Tripp: Dad, don't you think you should be paying attention to your grandsons' birthday?
Melvin: I would, but I really need to upgrade this TV. Sorry, son. This is important.
Jack: Grandpa, why aren't you paying attention to my birthday?
Melvin: BUSY. GAWD.
I think Jack should just stay like this forever.
Much better. Jack's last trait was Born Salesman. His LTW is to be a CEO or whatever top of the business track is.
(I forgot to get the CAS shots this time so I'll include them next time. ><)
Jack: Why are you eating my cake? Shouldn't you be cleaning or something?
Jack had a special guest over right after.
Jack: I had a birthday! IT'S SO EXCITING.
Opal: Yeah. That's... very exciting, Jack.
Jessie also invited Rosanna over, but he had more in mind than just talking about birthdays.
Scarlet: Smooth, son. You sure do know how to get the ladies.
Regardless, she said yes.
Tripp: I wish you talked to me beforehand so I could warn you that marriage is not all its cracked up to be.
And as we all know happens with the spares, we move at lightning speed for a pajama bedroom wedding...
...and move out directly afterwards.
Rosanna: Jessie and I will be so happy in our new home! Being married is wonderful!
Jack: You two got married? How wonderful!
Jack: Wait. This means I'm the only kid who is still single. I really need to step up my game with Opal.
And so he invited her out to the new dance club in town.
And attempted to impress her by buying everyone (ie all two people) in the bar a round of drinks.
Jack: You with the hideous shirt! I have something to say!
Jack: What has two thumbs and is desperately trying to impress a lady by throwing money away on your overpriced drinks? This guy.
Opal: Free drinks? I can get behind that.
Star McHooker: What do you mean? I thought the flamboyant vest with nothing underneath was the style.
Opal: You know, even if you did take me on a date to this filthy garage bar, I am having a pretty good time.
Jack: I'm sorry. I thought you would like the dance club. Next time I'll take you to a nicer venue, but for now, let's enjoy ourselves here.
Opal: That would be lovely.
Jack was a lightweight, and two girly drinks later he found himself up on the table.
Jack: Hey, Opal! Hey! Lookit me!
Jack: I can hear you saying now, that Jack is one crazy guy!
Jack: Not only is he good looking and wealthy enough to buy a round of drinks, but he's also a fun-loving and spontaneous guy! I am sure that would translate to his relationships, I hear you say.
Opal: I'm sorry, Jack, were you saying something? I'm mesmerized by these bubbles.
Jack: She was ignoring me. *sniff*
And then the bar closed before he could invite her home. D< Freaking bar hours.
And so that is how Jack found himself at the scene of the accident (aka Opal's house) the next day. I have no idea how this happened, but someone needs to take that cabbie's license away.
Opal: Ugh, my head. I really should have had a few less drinks last night, but I couldn't help myself since Jack was buying.
Opal: Hey, Jack. I had a great time last night.
Jack: Me, too, but after all my planning I didn't get a chance to do something last night that I've been meaning to do for a while.
Jack: Opal, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?
Opal: Oh, Jack!
Weepy: How can you get married at a time like this? MY COWORKER IS DEAD.
Weepy: YOU TWO ARE HEARTLESS.
Weepy: Have you no shame.
Opal agreed to move in following their engagement.
Jack: Baby, why don't you and me celebrate.
Jack: Cuddle times is like hug times but more intimate.
Opal: Actually, I was thinking of something even more intimate.
Jack: Ohoho, I see where you are going with this.
I forgot it was Tripp's birthday amidst all the engagements and moving in and such.
Tripp: I'M GONNA BE OLD
Tripp: I guess this isn't as bad as I anticipated.
Scarlet also had her birthday all on her lonesome.
Scarlet: Aw, wrinkles and legacy hair. Could this get any worse?
One night, while looking through the telescope at the neighbors, Opal figured out she was pregnant.
Opal: Hmm, maybe Jack and I should hold off on the wedding party his parents wanted and just get married on our own.
And so they did out by the covered bridge.
And in view of the public restrooms! So romantic~
Jack: The beauty of this butterfly will never compare to your beauty.
Opal: Aw, Jack, how trite and cliche, but I do appreciate the sentiment.
Jack: Hey, grandpa. Hey, dad. Opal and I got married, and now we're expecting our first kid. Just thought you'd like to know~
Tripp: How could you get married without a party? You're heir. You're expected to do the wedding bash.
Jack: Sorry, dad. We just couldn't wait.
That night, while everyone was already asleep, Opal went into labor.
Opal: Ohhhhh, I want to go to the hospital but Jack is upstairs, and there is no way in hell I am climbing all the way up there.
So she had the baby right there. Meet Lion. She is brave and athletic.
And I am not ashamed to say I aged her up then and there. SO TIRED OF BABY STAGE. XD
Next time, perhaps I won't be buzzed when I write this. As it is, who knows if it makes sense. XDDDD
NOW FOR YOUR REGULAR DOSE OF LULZ FROM myka AND ohsims!